Paddy: The Bomb.

My first day. I hurried to reach the elevator. I got in, pressed the button for the top floor and noticed a man with a white peaked hat standing inside with his head down. As the doors shut he slid out between them, almost becoming the meat in the sandwich. I noticed he’d left a rucksack on the floor. I thought I would just hand it to reception but curiosity took hold. I knelt over it and looked for a name. It was heavy, so I pulled the zip to look inside. My heart sank. Wires, explosives and a phone with a fully charged battery all taped together. Not good…..

3 thoughts on “Paddy: The Bomb.”

  1. I loved it, Paddy. Well done! From the first phrase …to the last two words. You built up the tension well – describing the setting superbly.
    What now…I wonder?
    Keep up the great work!

  2. Hi paddy, Your strory was awesome. I like how you made creepy at the start. I like reading stories that make you fell like what is going to happen next. Next time I encourage you to go farther into the setting.

  3. Hello, Paddy I loved your piece I wish I could read more of the story. Next time I encourage you to make sure to be aware of were you put your commas. But anyway, you still did a really good job with everything else. Loved your story.

    Braden, School: Richmond intermediate. Location: St Charles, IL

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