Tag: Eoin

My friend John and I were wandering around the studio, bored as usual. You’d think it would be exciting with your dad writing the script for the evening news, but as childcare is expensive and my mam works also, I was stuck ambling around aimlessly through the various sets.

Today, the broadcasting company was adding a new set for a cookery show. We decided to take a peek. As we opened the door extremely slowly and genteelly we heard the frustrated director rushing about frantically shouting about ” Ze Coookerrs, Vere Are Zey?”

Suddenly he glimpsed us, whisked us away and plonked us down on stools. A minute later we seemed to be on television, LIVE television.

 

Boom ! Bricks flew everywhere as I shielded my face with my already grazed and gritty hands. All around me people were running for their lives like something out of a movie. Except this was the latest of 3 major terrorist attacks on the world’s popular capitals. It wasn’t a pretty sight, and to think that intelligent human beings were carrying out these immense acts of cruelty was insane, madness even. The Gorilla Gang were the cause of this, I knew, but back to the situation at hand. Three huge figures were advancing towards me, billowing smoke out of a kind of vacuum. Suddenly I started feeling weak, my arms drooping, my legs sapped of strength, my stomach feeling queasy, and that’s when I blacked out.

I zigzagged around the trees like greased lightning, my bike caked in sopping wet mud. Scarily close, shots rang out ferociously through the air forcing terror -stricken me to dive desperately into a weather beaten ditch. Oddly, there was a minute door. Sitting in my bog- like surroundings I wondered what was behind the door. I prodded it open very genteelly, barely twitching my finger. All of a sudden, butterfly -like creatures swarmed out of the door like bees from a broken hive or almost like an approaching army. Within seconds they had surrounded me. If only I had left the door alone…

Sam trudged through the immensely deep mud, his legs sapped of strength and his uniform caked in mud, dirt and grit. Suddenly he heard a scuttling by his ankles. Aiming his flashlight down he saw to his relief that it was not in fact cockroaches but something a bit more pleasing. It was a a loveliness of ladybirds.

“I have discovered a new species,” Sam cried out triumphantly.

“Simon! Dinnertime!”.

John set his Lego figurine down and rushed downstairs for a mini feast

Wing Commander Marco Gundogan gunned his fighter plane’s engine and soared into the hazy orange sky. Forty minutes later he was hovering over Bath, ready to deploy the deadly missiles that would wreak havoc and devastation across the city.

That was the plan until he saw three dots in the distance coming towards him. He had to release the bombs but they were much too close. He danced and dodged around them for a few minutes before clumsily grabbing his parachute, wrenching open the cockpit door and leaping out into the air, hoping and praying to God that nobody saw him landing in the barren fields rushing up to meet him.

I trudged through knee-deep mud, my legs sapped of strength, my arms sagging from the weight of my elephant-like pack. As I clambered out of the ditch onto a country road, I noticed a cottage ahead in my moonlit surroundings. Desperate to see civilisation I sprinted over. When I reached the house I peered through the window with my binoculars. It was a family. Similar to my own actually, it reminded me of a time when I was still at home. When I had no worries. “But that life is gone,” I muttered to myself, cursing the war and my luck. I turned away and delved into the blackness of the ditch once more.

This was it . The day I had been waiting for. I opened the door with my stolen security card and set off down the hallway, stealth-like, looking around corners with a shard of mirror . When I got outside the cell block I knocked out the guard on duty and started putting  hidden plumbing pipes together to make one large pole. I got to the East wall and took stock of my moonlit surroundings. Without a second thought I sprinted towards the bare concrete, shoved the pipes into the gravel and leaped majestically over the wall. I grasped at the telephone wires, flailing in midair . When I regained balance I slowly but surely, one hand at a time, was free.

Another day at the office. A tricky Monday with a worse teacher and a hopeless  school. You probably think I’m overreacting , don’t you? Well, how do you explain mauve juice stains all over the walls after 1st class got creative with their bottles? Or the fact that no inspector has stepped foot inside the school since 5th class climbed the trees before he came and ambushed him with the contents of their lunches? ( We really don’t like our lunch do we?!). Finally, here’s the worst of St. Anne’s long, horrible history. Only a few days ago we were at the zoo on an outing when  Chris  wanted a better look at the reptiles . 5 seconds later we’re running to the bus like there’s  no tomorrow.

Oh my God, literally. Zeus himself called me yesterday via this kind of a hologram  telling me to find this Golden Fleece thing for him, but I didn’t understand the instructions. In fact, I have no idea what either of them are on about . Oh I forgot to mention , Poseidon, God of the sea asked me the very same thing except to give it to him . I don’t know what to do, if I give the fleece thing to Zeus I’ll never again be able to go to the beach but if I give it to Poseidon I’ll never get to go on an aeroplane . But wait, how do I even find the God damn thing!

It was a misty morning at the North African oil plant, a rare occurrence, especially as there was an upcoming drought.

It was lunchtime when an employee lit a cigarette and set the tanks alight. Kaleb, another worker who witnessed the incident that was to cost millions, of dollars and lives, frantically ran for the boats. On his journey, he shouted to anyone and everyone who would listen, telling them they were all in grave danger though none took much notice.

By the next morning the sea was crimson with… well you know …don’t you?

Squadron 73 moved through the twisted forest quickly, not stopping for any “breathers” , there was too much at stake. They had to get to the rendezvous to tell the others it was off . The hostage was already dead and buried . At this rate though, they’d never make it. The leader of the 5, Captain  Michael Hart, found a shortcut, via a waterfall. A 500 metre drop, broken bones but their friends saved, or no broken bones but their friends dead . They voted quickly and the decision was unanimous.  They’d risk the jump for the sake of the mission.

It’s hopeless, I thought to myself , squinting into the wasteland, looking, searching, for that tiny speck in the distance that would bring me to civilisation , or maybe just a substantial meal followed by fresh water and a proper place to pee , not just a hole in the burning hot yellow sand. I yearned to be back home in front of a roaring fire drifting into the hazy, dream filled world of sleep, actually feeling comfortable, maybe at ease if you were to go so far. But, I had enough between my ears to know that the chances were slim, wafer-like in fact. I was waiting for that knight in shiny armour . Where was he these days?

Ireland, 1921, a rural school in Galway.

We had done it . We had come from having our backs against the wall , desperate, to independence.  We weren’t in the clear yet though , if the negotiations  failed we’d be back to the drawing board, square 1 .  Unlike the rest of the school clique, I was worried . The reason being that the men who had fought for this very day had picked Michael Collins, more suited to assault courses than crosswords or brain teasers. I let my eyes wander around the classroom with only one thought in my mind, “But what if I was in charge?”

I flew around the space base one last time before stealthily landing in one of the craters surrounding the tech fortress . I fastened my oxygen tank and opened the door, automatically triggering the ladder . I clambered down and crept slowly towards the megastructure, being careful not to set off any motion sensors. I hacked the 28 inch steel doors and feasted my eyes on gold that shone like a goldfish in the Sun. But I wasn’t here for riches. I trudged through the sea of extravagance and snatched a brown,roughly knotted package from its place.

 

The last words I heard before drifting into a hazy world called unconsciousness were : “We have you now!”

They had found us. The people from down below had started chopping trees as if they weren’t even there. If only they had been more cautious . But, as the old saying goes, if you mess with the bull you get the horns. Every single branch had been equipped with the most hi tech gear, from the smallest, barely noticeable birch twig to the biggest , ancient oak stalk. We had also branched out to our close friends, the dogs, using them as spies.

Little did the humans know they had just pulled the trigger on a cross species war…

I hurried along the uneven ground towards the one thing that could stop earth’s inevitable fate . The sword was stuck between two massive boulders and was a solid and steely silver with white engravings on the blade. I pulled with all my strength but it wouldn’t budge. I decided to try something no one else had tried, to push it . I pushed and the boulders split open. With the sword in hand my physical battery was high and I felt as energetic as a 4 year old who’s drunk a litre of coke. Now I headed off to defeat the evil Sandwich .

I whizzed around another sharp bend, the tyres screeching from the speed. Me and the rest of the sharp claw gang had just pulled off our best robbery yet, on a toy shop . The cops were gaining on us and we were having to swerve dramatically to avoid their hail of bullets. One police car caught up and slammed us into the ditch. Where would we hide it all ? We frantically stuffed the cash into our sleeves and any other place we could find. The other policeman approached the car, guns drawn. We stepped out of the car, hands up and waited for something to happen.

 

 

 

I quickly nabbed the handbag and sprinted across the street. I had got it, now all I had to do was get away. I stopped at a shop nearby when I heard mumbling and groans. I looked around and saw three phantoms drifting towards me .

They were nattering on about giving back the handbag or else. Go away I whispered but they kept advancing nearer . I ran to an alley when the walls started closing in on me the ghosts groaned “give the handbag back or you will be cursed for eternity . You have one hour “.