The Briefcase by Charlie Week 12

I tapped the indicators to get off the highway going through the Mojave desert. The vast sandy plains of the desert amazed my eyes. The car trekked along the dusty one lane road. Something about fifty meters away caught my eye. As my mate and I approached it, it seemed to be a briefcase covered in sand and dust. I threw it in the back of the car but little did I know the words “Area 51 Untouchable” was written on the briefcase. When we arrived at the motel we switched on the T.V and we seemed to be on television. The reported announced that we had stolen money. A chill went down both of our spines…..

6 thoughts on “The Briefcase by Charlie Week 12”

  1. Hi Charlie,
    What a great story! You hooked me in from the very beginning with your description of the desert and then kept me spellbound with the tale of the briefcase and how you ended up on the TV.
    Thank you!
    Michelle

  2. Hi Charlie! I like you word choice, trekked stands out to me. I don’t think there are many possibilities of that happening in real life. Your piece reminds a bit of tomb raider; how it takes place in desserts or on sand. A suggestion I have for you to improve your piece is you could change how you worded the sentence where you found the briefcase.
    Sincerely,
    Danny in Illinois
    Write me back here: https://kidblog.org/portfolio/dw3r6b7ubmb6vg6co955p93e9/posts

  3. Hi Charlie! I liked how you described the desert. Did you know my friend also won 100 word challenge her name is Sienna. I also wrote this week mine was about a family who was competing in a Triathlon. One thing you can do next time is bold the prompt.

  4. hi, i really like how you pulled me in with the desert and the briefcase. and i really really really really think that u should make a part 2.
    Thank you!
    Jaiden

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