A Turn of Events by Eoin

In the beginning there was nothing. Well, unless you count the ancient dwarf tribe near the Peaks of Peril . These weren’t your average mining dwarves though they all had beards . With the exception of Fir who had been kicked out following his failure in growing a beard and was only left the rags on his back and 5 midget strawberries. He really wanted to be a part of the tribe so he ventured up the tallest mountain in search of a quest.

Little did he know that Bwan the  Dragon with teeth the size of a truck  was watching him and was starting to feel peckish, devilishly peckish…

2 thoughts on “A Turn of Events by Eoin”

  1. Hello Eoin!
    Thanks for sharing this story. I love reading and writing so will do my best to give you an honest response to your writing. Here goes!

    An engaging start!
    Your style is bright, chatty and a hint of wit. It reminded me a little of How to Train a Dragon with a similar ‘failure-hero’ who we just know will come good. You include enough in this introduction to make a reader want to know more : midget strawberries, Peak of Peril and of course Bwan (one of those words that are pleasure to say aloud) the dragon.
    If you were to continue the story I would definitely encourage you to go for the unpredictable, err on the side of the ridiculous and write things that make you smile.
    On a grammar note, ‘With the exception of Fir’ does not sound like a sentence opener. If you are like me, thought carefully about each sentence before committing it to paper and therefore can’t bear to re-phrase, I would replace the full stop in the sentence before with a comma.
    Gosh that sounds fussy but it is a honest response. A’devillishly’ honest response 😉

    Debbie – Team 100

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