Week 14 by Alan Christmas

One day before Christmas I walked up to my Mom and asked her when was Christmas. She answered tomorrow and I was so happy because I love Christmas and the most important are the presents. Also what scared me was when I looked at my Mom’s eyes they were creepy blue. As the next day came I jumped out of my bed and sprinted down stairs and there was a huge shining present with stars around it. I was amazed as I went to open it my mom stopped me. I needed to eat my Christmas breakfast. After I ate my Christmas breakfast I went to open my present and….

2 thoughts on “Week 14 by Alan Christmas”

  1. Hello Alan, Christmas is an exciting time isn’t it? I think many mom’s would be being asked by their children right now about when Christmas is. Sometimes it seems to take so long to arrive. Your story took a big turn from the excitement of Christmas though when you made the mom have funny eyes, the stars around the present and didn’t tell the reader what was actually in the present. This certainly engages the reader in wanting to know what happens and if you had extended your story I would certainly have wanted to keep reading. Well done.

  2. Hi Alan,
    Well done on your entry this week. Your story is quite spooky and mysterious. I wonder what happened after you had opened your present!
    You’ve used some nice vocabulary in your story, e.g. creepy, sprinted and amazed. Keep up the great work and enjoy the holidays!
    Ms Brennock
    Team 100 w/c

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