Week 19 The Thing By Shane F

It was a day like any other . I was cleaning the sink and I heard a strange gurgle come from the pipe . I peered down into the dark abyss . SUDDENLY  a yellowish sludge poured out of the sink . The force of the sludge threw me back . I staggered back up and dashed out of the room onto the street.

Wet, annoyed and confused. This weird thing was alive . I looked back into the house and it was gone . It came down the drainpipe . Suddenly a huge wave of toxic sludge came out of the sewer and tried to engulf me. It towered over me. What was I going to do?!

3 thoughts on “Week 19 The Thing By Shane F”

  1. Hello Shane,

    What an adventure! Your story reminded me of an old movie entitled, “The Blob”. As in your story, the oozing creature would engulf anything it could. Your story added an extra level when your sludge was toxic. Perhaps a product of industrial pollution, it is certainly not a thing to approach. What should you do… RUN!

    Your use of descriptive words demonstrates you know the power words can have to “paint pictures” in the minds of your readers. Well done.

    As you are developing good writing skills, I have one small suggestion I hope can help. The first two sentences in your second paragraph might perhaps have been one sentence.

    With your growing writing skills, a good grasp of descriptive words and a creative mind, I hope you can continue entering the 100WC.

    Ross Mannell (Team 100WC)
    Teacher (retired), N.S.W., Australia

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