Week 6: Skydiving By Michael

Ring! Ring! I answered the call. It was Simon, my friend. “We need you at the military air field in an hour” he said. “OK I AM IN THE BATH” I SHOUTED ANGRILY. I clumsily got out of the bath and put on my uncomfortable military uniform. I hopped into my orange Vauxhall and set off. As I got closer to the air field fighter planes danced in the skies. When I arrived everyone was waiting for me. We got inside the plane and took-off. In half an hour we were in cruising altitude. After Simon jumped it was my turn. I counted to three and jumped.

One thought on “Week 6: Skydiving By Michael”

  1. I like the way you have used the words to take the reader from an everyday situation to something very dramatic. I liked the personification ‘fighter planes danced in the skies’. The ending certainly has me hooked and I want to find out more – what sort of mission are the friends on and where?
    You have used a clear and concise writing style, which works well for 100 words.
    Perhaps just think about the verb ‘hopped’ with a view to cohesion. This verb sounds cheerful but we know he was angry, clumsy and found his uniform uncomfortable in the earlier sentences. Overall – a great piece. Well done.

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